CROSSWORDS: Relationships

Summary | Quotes |
References: General | Solver Stories | Marriage Proposals

Summary

• Solving crosswords can be a social activity: a way to meet people,
  propose marriage, play together, stay together, ... -- or a source of conflict.

Quotes

• "Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer."
  ~Red by Taylor Swift; full lyrics
• "While some people prefer to solve crosswords on their own,
  many enjoy working on a puzzle with a friend or two.
  It's a common trope in comics or movies for a crossword solver
  to look up from a puzzle with a question for a group." ~Christina Iverson; 3/17/2023;
  -- or spouse, e.g., Clare Briggs cartoon from the 1920s
• "It’s better... when you solve together." ~Deb Amlen, WordPlay blog
• "One thing that I do find really sexy is... a girl who's good at crossword puzzles." ~Chris Pine
• "I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears.
  "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'...
  I think she's seeking attention.
• "Another reason for the extraordinary success of crossword puzzles"...
  according to Columbia University professors of psychology H. E. Jones and Prescott Leeky,
  "was the low cost of working them" and "The puzzles appeal to the sex instinct in that
  they supply a new reason for social gatherings, of young particularly."
  ~Trivia on History of the Crossword Puzzle
• "shared crossword
  interlocking
  coffee rings" ~crossword senryu
  senryu: 3-line unrhymed Japanese poem structurally similar to haiku
  but treating human nature usually in an ironic or satiric vein.
• "A lady got off the train so I finished her crossword...
  Turns out she'd just gone to the toilet and now she's back and she hates me."
• "Relationships are like crossword puzzles:... sometimes it takes a few times to find the right fit.
  ~Lessons from the End of a Marriage 9/3/2012
• "My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles... I haven't given in on that one yet." ~Bill Gates
• "Scrabble is the one that George... now seems to be playing constantly.
  Like, I'm trying to get his attention; I'm still here." ~Bush Plays Scrabble on iPad
• "Sitting alone at a coffee shop, working the Sunday New York Times crossword,... I got stuck on a clue.
  An attractive guy peeked over my shoulder and said, 'Trireme: a Roman galley. It's the answer to six across.'
  Thirty-two years later, we compete to see who can complete the crossword fastest." ~Sher Garfield
• "A man was working a crossword puzzle and asked,
  'What is a four letter word for... a strong emotional reaction toward a difficult person?'
  Someone standing nearby said, 'The answer is hate.'
  A lady interrupted and said, 'No, the answer is love!'
  Everyone is working that same crossword puzzle,
  but the way you answer is up to you." ~Kent Crockett, The 911 Handbook
• "Never let a problem to be solved become... more important than the person to be loved."~Barbara Johnson

References

• see Refs: Marriage Proposals; section: History: 1920s: marital strife
• topics: arguments, communication, loss, romance, sex, tournaments
• XWordInfo: Collaborate or Compete with a Friend (NYT)
• Father and Daughter Bond at Crossword Competition
  How a Shared Love for Crossword Puzzles Boosts More Than Brain Power; AARP; 6/5/2024
• ‘My husband does the crossword every night in bed
  – and it's causing us problems’
  Turns out puzzle-solving can test your marriage as well as your brain;
  as one reader told me; Tel; 2/3/2023
• My bad trip – I met a handsome Scot with a crossword
  and thought it was true love. I was wrong Guard; 1/31/2023
• How Crossword Puzzles Helped Me Connect With My Son 4/2/2022
• All in the Game of Love
  Over crosswords, Rubik's Cubes or Scrabble, these couples bonded through their shared love of puzzles and games; NYT; 3/24/2022
• It's Becoming Pretty Clear that the Crossword Constructor Is Going Through Something NYkr; 1/25/2022
• 'Want to Join My Crossword Group Chat?'
  a new generation of crossword enthusiasts has changed the way that puzzles are discussed.
  And they are determined to make their pastime a space where all are welcome; NYT; 8/31/2021
• A Collaboration Across Time Deborah Sosin stumbled upon her father's unfinished crossword puzzles.
  Solving them became a way to honor his memory; NYT; 4/28/2021
• A Handy Vehicle for Social Interaction
  a recent college graduate learned lessons about mindfulness
  and camaraderie by solving the bite-size NYT Mini Crossword; NYT; 2/24/2021
• Author David Leavitt on crossword puzzles, grief and ritual NPR; 12/30/2020
• Collaborative NYT crosswords return to Twitch over the holiday weekend
  commands are formatted like "23d barn" meaning "the answer for 23 down is barn";
  calming soundtrack; Verge; 11/25/2020
• The Crew has met daily for 18 years to solve crossword together; 10/1/2020
• Why I gave up the daily crossword Gen Z daughter now solving the newspaper puzzles; 6/11/2020
• Happiness is FaceTime, wine, and the Sunday crossword BG; 6/1/2020
• I Can't Spend Time With My Dad, but Doing Crosswords Over the Phone Helps
  working on puzzles side-by-side has always been a ritual for us.
  Even with quarantine keeping us apart, we found a way to hold on to it; MB; 5/5/2020
• Introducing The Atlantic's Sunday Crossword
  We’re expanding our puzzles to the weekend, and you can play with friends; 5/3/2020
• Introducing Partner Mode: Crosswords for the Age of Social Distancing
  virtual togetherness through solving; NYkr; 4/10/2020
• Long-Distance Crossword Puzzle Activity to Do With Children 4/3/2020
• What is nine letters and the key to the SF Giants’ clubhouse chemistry? The daily crossword.
  Evan Longoria, Brandon Crawford and Jeff Samardzija don’t let a day go by without completing the crossword;
  "Just 30 minutes of thinking about stuff that's not baseball keeps you intelligent on that spectrum"; SJM; 3/3/2020
• Halifax man closing in on goal of completing 3,653 NYT crosswords in honour of late father
  they bonded over crosswords; 11/21/2019
• It's Better When You Solve -- and Construct -- Together Gabrielle Friedman and Jakob Weisblat; NYT; 11/11/2019
• 'Dot was drinking a beer and doing a crossword. I thought, there's a woman after my own heart!'
  Registered nurse Tim Castley, 54, met war widow and former switchboard operator Dot Sullivan, 101, eight years ago.
  They bonded over a love of crosswords, getting together every Monday evening to decode that day's puzzle; 11/1/2019
• After I Got Hit By a Car, I Never Expected Crosswords Would Save Me
  When I felt isolated or resentful, puzzles helped me remember how to connect with the world outside my head; Vice; 6/3/2019
• Words matter: Clarity found in Mom's crumpled crossword 1/29/2019
• As camp preps players for friendlies, USMNT competing off the field with crossword puzzles
  crossword puzzles may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of team-building,
  but they've become somewhat of a lunchtime ritual for the U.S. men's national soccer team; USA; 1/24/2019
• They'll Check on You After Surgery: Meet the Times's Crossword Puzzlers NYT; 8/19/2018
• Puzzle Lovers Find Their Tribe at a Crossword Tournament NYT; 3/26/2018
• 40 ways to add romance to your relationship
  4. Create a game. Design a personalized crossword puzzle for your sweetie with romantic clues such as,
  "Where did we have our first kiss?" It's easy: discoveryeducation.com/free-puzzlemaker; 2/2013
• Life Is Shortz a 2-Act Play by Lee Marcus; [video; 14:38]; 3/27/2011
• Doing crosswords or sudoku 'helps couples get over arguments' 3/11/2010
• Crossword Protocol
  "I recently noticed a week-old, half-finished crossword puzzle
  on my mother's kitchen table. I filled in a few answers -- no big deal.
  But Mom went ballistic. What's the protocol on helping out
  on crosswords?" Wired; 4/20/2009
• Dear Abby: "I chuckled when I saw the letter from
  "Eating Single but Not Alone" (Feb. 5), about discovering
  single men in a diner at breakfast....
  My advice to single women: Bring the crossword puzzle
  from the daily paper and you won't feel so awkward.
  It will give you a legitimate reason for starting a conversation,
  and you may even get offered help with the answers."
• Top 5 Ways for the Aging to Remain Socially Engaged: Game On crossword clubs; HSW
• Love and Relationships Crosswords: Easy and Hard
• Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy textbook; crosswords in 19 Chapters; 2004
• Crossword Murder Man, Crazed by Them, Slays Wife and Wounds Self; Cincinnati (OH) Post, p. 15; 12/18/1925
• Crossword Mania Breaks Up Homes
  Neglected Cleveland Wives Said to Plan Divorces from Stricken Husbands; NYT p. 8; 12/11/1924

Solver Stories (NYT)

• Shelter From Life's Storms NYT; 6/22/2022
• Progress Comes Only With Practice
  the lessons my grandfather taught me while we solved crossword puzzles
  went well beyond putting letters in squares; NYT; 1/26/2022
• The Safety of Order
  Finding stability in puzzles during a turbulent time; NYT; 9/22/2021
• Crosswords Were a Way for My Grandmother to Prove Herself
  A woman with little formal education taught her granddaughter an important lesson;
  NYT; 7/28/2021
• Learning to Love the Theory of ‘Good Enough’
  Letting go of perfectionism is a formidable task; NYT; 5/26/2021
• The Girl Who Walked Away
  as an adolescent, Leslie Doyle felt embarrassed by her father.
  As an adult, she learned to be grateful for what he taught her; NYT; 1/27/2021
• Escape the Room, Escape the World
  a family takes refuge from life’s sharper edges by solving puzzles together;
  solving puzzles gives us a chance to escape reality -- and the weight of society's demands
  -- at least briefly; NYT; 12/23/2020
• My Journey to the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament
  a well-loved clipboard loaded with crossword puzzles
  became the rock one woman leaned on when her husband became critically ill;
  'When days were long, doctors' visits were discouraging and the future was uncertain,
  crossword puzzles gave me a sense of accomplishment, comfort and stability.' NYT; 11/25/2020
• Staying Connected Across the Miles solving crosswords together
  helped two friends cling to their bond when distance and life got in the way; NYT; 10/28/2020
• Crossword Puzzles: The Sixth 'Love Language'
  when work separated Jamie Sumner and her husband, they found a way to connect over the miles; NYT; 9/30/2020
• Bringing Order to Chaos
  In Italy, a country ravaged by the effects of coronavirus,
  a man finds some solace and peace by focusing on crossword puzzles; NYT; 4/6/2020
• When Survival Depends on the Little Things
  After tragedy struck, solving crosswords allowed estranged sisters to find a way back to each other; NYT; 5/15/2019
• From Generation to Generation
  In one family, a love of solving puzzles flowed from old to young, and united them; NYT; 4/10/2019
• Always Another Puzzle a son remembers the joy of solving with his mother; NYT; 2/13/2019
• When the Child Becomes the Parent
  words become medicine as Anu Garg helps his formerly self-reliant mother recover from a stroke; NYT; 12/19/2018
• "You Are Tough. You Have to Be This Boy's Mother. You Can Do a Saturday Puzzle."
  in the NICU, a life hangs in the balance and a new mother practices self-care with crossword puzzles; NYT; 11/28/2018
• Loss Across and Love Down
  for Maria Janelli, solving crossword puzzles made loss bearable and love possible; NYT; 10/26/2018
• One Hundred Miles From Here
  solving the crossword helps a young woman stay connected to family as she ventures toward independence; NYT; 8/29/2018
• 'Solver Stories' Submission Guidelines
  have a story that needs to be told about puzzles and how they connected you to someone else?
  Wordplay wants to hear from you; NYT; 5/29/2018
• The Language of Letting Go
  solving crossword puzzles helps a mother bond with her adult child in a new way;
  "There's something profoundly satisfying about solving a crossword puzzle. It's not just the filling in of squares
  It's the way you must continually push yourself to look at what you know through a different lens,
  the unexpected discovery that you have more resources at your disposal than you ever imagined"; NYT; 5/23/2018

Marriage Proposals

• Steele Harvey proposes to girlfriend Remy Spillane in Newcastle Herald Blockbuster crossword 12/6/2021
• Who is Tracey McShane? Jon Stewart proposed to his wife through crossword puzzle 6/15/2021
• Man proposes to girlfriend with Israel Hayom crossword puzzle 3/1/2021
• They All Said Yes A Puzzling Proposal: Amanda Yesnowitz & Brendan McGrady; NYT; 1/4/2020
• 'Ingenuity, solvability and mischievousness': i's crossword king on secret to the perfect clue
  and why he set his wife a puzzle for their wedding day Nimrod; 12/17/2019
• A Proposal in Our Pages. The Crossword to Be Exact
  Here’s the down and across of the plan. But did it work? Austin Chronicle; 11/20/2019
• New York Times editor helps crossword fan get marriage proposal across, down on a knee
  'A great puzzle is like a great relationship' at P'ville Crossword Puzzle Tournament; 9/23/2019
• Puzzling out the perfect proposal 6/17/2019
• Anna proposes to Tessa by hiding 'will you marry me?' in Press crossword 3/12/2019
• Man Proposes to Girlfriend with Cryptic Personalised Crossword 4/6/2018
• Fiancee discovers proposal in crossword puzzle The News-Review (paywall), Roseburg; 4/3/2018
• Wedding Crossword Puzzle | And a 9 Step Tutorial! 5/31/2013
• Crossword marriage proposal: Where are they now? WaPo; 12/21/2011
• For Alexandria couple, wedding proposal in a crossword puzzle just fit WaPo; 4/16/2011
• Marriage proposal in crossword puzzle yields correct answer: Yes! NYT; 9/26/2007
• Jonesin' for Marriage Eugene Weekly; 7/14/2005
• A Modest Proposal Newsday; 3/9/1998
• Marriage proposal puzzle [NYT] 1998; Will Shortz Discusses (video: 2:56);
  included 20-A: "1729 Jonathan Swift pamphlet": A MODEST PROPOSAL;
  56-A: "1992 Paula Abdul hit": WILL YOU MARRY ME